“You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another.”
— Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises
Accepting a condition can be the beginning of changing your relationship with it. Many people struggle with a diagnosis of bipolarity for years. Confusion, fear and anger may arrive well before acceptance.
At HopeStage, we believe that acceptance can be a first step towards hope.
People respond to a diagnosis in different ways. Some feel relief or recognise their experience immediately. Others reject it, question it or find themselves doubting it again after a period of feeling well.
Talking about bipolarity, and listening to people who have experienced similar symptoms, can make a real difference.
Need some encouragement?
Mental Health Awareness Month, observed in May in the United States, is one opportunity to hear these experiences and learn about support.
Explore HopeStage’s support options in France (French-language page).
It is a time when mental health organisations work to reduce stigma and help people find support.
Mental Health America's B4Stage4 approach encourages people to respond to emerging mental health difficulties, such as prolonged low mood, anxiety or sleep problems.
We do not usually ignore persistent physical symptoms, such as high blood pressure or a cough that will not go away.
Recognising mental health symptoms and finding appropriate care can also take time. Asking for help gives us an opportunity to understand what is happening and explore ways forward.
The steps towards making peace with bipolarity can be long and winding. We can also learn to make room for that uncertainty.
Writer Emily LeClair Metcalf describes the ongoing work of learning about self-love and acceptance. There is always more to discover about ourselves and about how we want to live.
Facing what we have been avoiding can give us a sense of agency, which matters when the next steps feel difficult.
Mental health advocate Kelley Thorpe Baker described a three-week hospital stay as lifesaving. A difficult period of depression led her to recognise that her way of life and outlook needed to change.
Acceptance can be a foundation for managing bipolarity: a step towards hope and a more workable everyday life.
The following is an anonymous personal account. It describes one person's experience, rather than a set of rules for everyone.
Everyone says acceptance is the key to stability, but what does that mean?
After thinking about it, I realise that accepting my bipolarity is not about approval or resignation.
It is about acknowledging what is there.
I keep returning to the idea that acceptance might help me face the problems in my life today.
If I cannot make room for my life as it is, finding happiness feels harder.
I need to focus not only on what I want to change around me, but also on what I can change in my responses and attitudes.
That made me think.
What is acceptance?
Do I have it?
What is there in my life that I have not yet accepted?
Bipolarity immediately came to mind as something I need to work on. Accepting my diagnosis feels like a monumental task.
How can I accept the fact that I struggle with episodes of depression and mania?
Is acceptance really an answer?
Should I accept life as it comes and work on changing my attitude?
Perhaps.
Is it easy, or do I even know how to do it?
I am not sure.
It sounds like a good idea, but how do you accept a diagnosis?
Let me start with what acceptance actually means to me.
Acceptance is not approval.
It is not resignation.
I would not have chosen to live with bipolarity, and that is unlikely to change.
But I can recognise my limits. When I respect them, life seems a little easier. My attitude changes, and I treat myself with more respect, compassion and care.
When I acknowledge that depression is part of my experience, I feel better able to respond when symptoms appear.
I seem to gain some perspective and remember that the way I feel can change.
Depression can last longer and return more often than I would like. Still, I try to remember that this moment does not have to be my whole future.
When I am depressed, I hate my job.
I criticise my body and my mood.
I dislike my apartment, and often even the city where I live.
I have a habit of changing my circumstances in the hope of changing my mental state.
I change jobs.
I end relationships. In my own experience, none of those changes has resolved the depression underneath.
My therapist once said something that stayed with me:
“It is not the job you hate.”
At the time, I was depressed and did not understand what that meant.
I thought my therapist was wrong.
If only I had a better job, more money or a partner.
If only... then I would be happy.
Through experience, I began to understand the point.
Changing my circumstances did not, by itself, change the fact that I live with bipolarity and experience its symptoms.
What would it look like if I accepted that I live with bipolarity?
Would I feel happier?
Would I be more patient and kinder to myself during episodes?
I think I might.
I want to find that acceptance.
I want more ease and peace of mind.
The challenge I am setting myself, and inviting you to consider, is to explore ways of accepting bipolarity.
And to remember that accepting it does not mean approving of it.
I am taking one step at a time.
Day by day, I am trying to look at my experience differently.
I now understand more of what my therapist meant.
In my case, the job was not the whole problem.
Changing external circumstances alone was not enough to bring the inner peace I wanted.
I needed to pay attention to what was happening within me as well.
I want to build more agency in how I live with this condition and find a sense of happiness that feels less fleeting.
Acceptance may be part of that answer. I want to explore it and see how it fits into my life.
You can also explore HopeStage's French-language psychoeducation resources.
